I need a break

long time no post.

haha.

i am in the lab right now, waiting for the stupid autoclave to cook my chicken. then i need to wait for at least an hour for it to cool down.

WASTE OF TIME!!!

anyway, i will b in taiwan nxt friday.

v excited.

had a change in plan now. baby n i will visit places dat we've nt went b4.

cool.



met C on mon to discuss the details of her wedding.

wah lau eh, i am so so so stress. till now, i still can't perfect my playing.

damn it.

i am so going to cock up on dat day.

sigh.



v lethargic recently. muz b getting sick.

or am i too tired.

i really need a break.

快乐？

他望着天花板发呆。

“你还好吧？”朋友关心地问。他笑了笑，点点头。

“那么，我们走了。好好照顾身体。”朋友们互相拥抱后便离开了。

他把门关上，转身，望着空荡荡的房子。缓缓地走到了房间，把老婆的照片拿在受伤。

“我好久没有听见你说爱我了。”他对照片微笑着。眼泪开始从眼角留下，他没想要把它擦掉。

“天堂有公共电话吗？”走到阳台，他对着天空说：“如果有的话，你能不能借我老婆一枚硬币？因为我也好久没有对她说‘我爱你’了......”





《突然好想你》

最怕空氣突然安靜

最怕朋友突然的關心

最怕回憶 突然翻滾絞痛著

不平息 最怕突然 聽到你的消息

想念如果會有聲音

不願那是悲傷的哭泣

事到如今 終於讓自己屬於 我自己

只剩眼淚 還騙不過自己

突然好想你 你會在哪裡

過得快樂或委屈

突然好想你 突然鋒利的回憶

突然模糊的眼睛

我們像一首最美麗的歌曲

變成兩部悲傷的電影

為什麼你 帶我走過最難忘的旅行

然後留下 最痛的紀念品

我們 那麼甜那麼美那麼相信

那麼瘋那麼熱烈的曾經

為何我們還是要奔向各自的幸福和遺憾中老

去突然好想你 你會在哪裡 過得快樂或委屈

突然好想你 突然鋒利的回憶

突然模糊的眼睛

最怕空氣突然安靜 最怕朋友突然的關心

最怕回憶 突然翻滾絞痛著 不平息

最怕突然 聽到你的消息

最怕此生 已經決心自己過 沒有你

卻又突然 聽到你的消息



*********************************

“放了几天假，你看起来精神好多了！”同事们拍拍他的肩膀说。

他笑了。点点头。走到自己的座位，发现同事们送了他一张卡片。他又笑了。

就这样，一切似乎恢复了正常。他努力的工作，生活。

不知不觉，一年过去了。

今天是星期五。

“喂，跟我们去party吧！哪里有个很漂亮的侍应生哦！”

“哇！真的吗？那真的要去看一看！”他豪爽地答应了。

在酒吧里，他们尽情地跳舞，喝酒。大家都玩得很开心。

“没关系，我自己可以回去。”他笑着对其他人说。大家就这样告别了。

开着车子，他在高速公路上奔驰。突然，眼泪从他眼睛里滑了下来。

“我答应过你，我会好好活下去。可是，好难。”他哽咽地说：“我可以不勇敢吗？”



《你不是真正的快樂》

人群中哭著　

你只想變成透明的顏色

你再也不會夢或痛或心痛了　

你已經決定了　你已經決定了

你靜靜忍著　

緊緊把昨天在拳心握著

而回憶越是甜就是越傷人了　

越是在手心留下密密麻麻深深淺淺的刀割

你不是真正的快樂　你的笑只是你穿的保護色

你決定不恨了　也決定不愛了　

把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

這世界笑了　

於是你合群的一起笑了

當生存是規則不是你的選擇　

於是你含著眼淚飄飄盪盪跌跌撞撞的走著

你不是真正的快樂　你的笑只是你穿的保護色

你決定不恨了　也決定不愛了　把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂　你的傷從不肯完全的癒合

我站在你左側卻像隔著銀河　

難道緊緊的抱著遺憾一直到老了　

然後才後悔著

你不是真正的快樂　你的笑只是你穿的保護色

你決定不恨了　也決定不愛了　把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂　你的傷從不肯完全的癒合

我站在你左側卻像隔著銀河　

難道緊緊的抱著遺憾一直到老了

你值得真正的快樂　你應該脫下你穿的保護色

為什麼失去了　還要被懲罰呢　

能不能就讓悲傷全部結束在此刻　

重新開始活著

Updates

It has been a while since i last posted anything.
my company is blocking every single blogs. so, can't c, cant post.
anyway, i am in the lab now, waiting for my autoclaved chix.
i think i can b a good chix rice seller. good at chopping chix.
erm, abit messy la. but i am sure practice makes perfect.
life have been ok so far. well, at least out of the cheena chix reach, i am happy.
one stupid bimbo asked me in the toilet yesterday whether i am happier.
the thing is, i noe the cheena chix is in one of the cubicle. i was contemplating whether to say it aloud dat i am OVERJOYED. haha. end up i didnt. i juz mouthed out my words.

will b going to taiwan 3 weeks ltr, and will oni be back nxt yr.
i need this break more than anything now.
it has been a long long fight n i am v tired now.
break time.

i hav many pending posts and pix to share.
will do it this week.
hopefully.

海角七号

一段横跨六十年的爱情。
懦弱的老师爱上学生，在战败后，放弃了爱情，默默地回到故乡，留下一辈子的思念和遗憾。
没有勇气追求，他感到无比惭愧。
心中唯一的画面，是勇敢的女孩提着行李箱到码头等着他的画面。
“当我想起你会握着别人的手，过得很幸福时，我的眼中突然泛起了眼泪。只是，眼泪在海没留下时已被海风吹干。所以，我的脸才会这样沧桑。”
原来勇气也需要两个人的努力才能实现。

阿嘉为了逃避自己的失败，放弃梦想，躲到乡下去。一事无成，每天无所事事，放弃自己。
友子为了前途，忍气吞声，在异乡努力地工作。不受重视，被别人呼来呵去，迷失自己。
两颗被压抑的心，孤独、寂寞。
擦撞出来激情的火花，是奇妙的。
是爱？还是只是因为寂寞？
不重要。
最重要的是，他们找到依靠，互相扶持。
“留下来，或者，我跟你走。”
一句话，一个需要多少勇气的决定。

劳马在喝醉的时候笑着到处让人看老婆的照片，要大家告诉她，他已经回来了，不再拼命、不再不顾自己了。当他把照片给小妹妹看时，小妹妹摸了摸他的头，亲了他一下。劳马当场哭了起来。隐藏自己的悲伤，这样释放。
谅解并不需要言语来表达。

“这是孔雀之珠，守护你坚贞不移的爱情。”
劳马把珠子送还给友子。
爱情是需要勇气和坚定的。

友子望着下雨的天空发呆。她对中孝介说：“我好怕它下雨哦。”
中孝介望着天空对她说：“难道你不期望雨后的彩虹吗？”
人生不会永远黑暗。在逆境过后，一定会有更蔚蓝的天空。

一个自认才华洋溢的老人家，拼命地想证明自己的实力，在别人面前发挥自己的才艺。
决不放弃，勇敢表达。
原来，整部戏最有勇气的，是他。

影片也叙述了人门如何地“外向”。“外国的月亮比较圆”是大家的误解。
我们应该珍惜身边拥有的东西。
我们有的，其实，也不差。

看了感触很深。
慢慢地回想，发现自己深深地被打动了。
这是一部值得慢慢品尝、回味的电影。

勇敢地去追寻自己想要的吧！

Out of town

i will be in taiwan tmr. attend the stupid forum. sigh. waste time n money.
i am dying to get out of this shit hole man.
yes, i noe, my vp is nice enuff to make all these arrangements for me (switch me to another dept, away from the cheena woman, n do impt projects...). but well, fact is this company is a u-c-very-nice-but-it-sucked-to-core-company.

maybe i shd take a break from all this crap.
the cheena chix was "breathing v hard" as i typed this entry. i can hear it from here.
suck.
i juz stared at her when she came in from the door juz now.
can even tok to her.
shorten my life.
pui.

will b back nxt week.

《稻香》

不知道怎么搞的，最近听这首歌都会忍不住热泪盈眶。
本来就很喜欢这首歌。喜欢它的简单，喜欢它舒服的编曲。
喜欢它不做作，喜欢它不华丽。
回归最原始的感动。
好歌。

那天和宝贝到AMK hub去买东西，在一间服饰店外面听到这首歌。这个时候，看到不远处有个小妹妹（大概三岁吧）很开心地在跑来跑去，跟爸爸在玩抓迷藏。爸爸看女儿累了，就把她抱起来，亲亲她的脸颊。妈妈这时走过来，牵着爸爸的手，对着他微笑，然后，也亲亲女儿的脸。

“还记得你说家是唯一的城堡 随着稻香河流继续奔跑
微微笑 小时候的梦我知道
不要哭让萤火虫带着你逃跑 乡间的歌谣永远的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好”

简单的幸福。每个人都拥有，但不是每个人都看得见。
我牵着宝贝的手，一路微笑着。她问我：“你在笑什么？”我没回答。
你看见你的幸福了吗？



《稻 香》
对这个世界如果你有太多的抱怨
跌倒了就不敢继续往前走
为什么人要这么的脆弱 堕落
请你打开电视看看
多少人为生命在努力勇敢的走下去
我们是不是该知足
珍惜一切 就算没有拥有
还记得你说家是唯一的城堡 随着稻香河流继续奔跑
微微笑 小时候的梦我知道
不要哭让萤火虫带着你逃跑 乡间的歌谣永远的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好
不要这么容易就想放弃 就像我说的
追不到的梦想 换个梦不就得了
为自己的人生鲜艳上色 先把爱涂上喜欢的颜色
笑一个吧 功成名就不是目的
让自己快乐快乐这才叫做意义
童年的纸飞机 现在终于飞回我手里
所谓的那快乐 赤脚在田里追蜻蜓追到累了
偷摘水果被蜜蜂给叮到怕了 谁在偷笑呢
我靠着稻草人吹着风唱着歌睡着了
哦 哦 午后吉它在虫鸣中更清脆
哦 哦 阳光洒在路上就不怕心碎
珍惜一切 就算没有拥有

在我心中尚未崩塌的地方

听了五月天的专辑。《后青春期的诗》。

充满叛逆的一张专辑。

我就是喜欢，你要怎样。

连看羚羊和草枝摆都出来了。

赞。



最喜欢《在我心中尚未崩坏的地方》。

就算世界怎么变，只要自己狂热的心不变，只要不要放弃，奇迹会出现的。

我相信。真的。

喜欢阿信很高亢地唱出这些歌词。

“至少在我心中还有一个尚未崩坏的地方......”



我不会放弃的！

绝对不会！

加油！





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





《在我心中尚未崩塌的地方》

醒在陌生的地方

镜头变成了刀枪

耳语也变成了真相

吉他告别了肩膀

诗人弃守了边疆

我们活在巨大片厂

幸运的孩子爬上了殿堂

成果代价都要品嚐

单纯的孩子是否变了样

跟着游戏规则学着成长

轰轰烈烈的排行

沸沸扬扬的颁奬

跟着节奏我常迷惘

当人心变成市场

当市场变成战场

战场埋葬多少理想

回想着理想稀薄的希望

走着钢索我的刚强伟大

和伪装灰尘或辉煌

那是一线之隔或是一线曙光

每个孤单天亮

我都一个人唱

默默的让着旋律和我心交响

就算会有一天没人与我合唱

至少在我的心中还有个尚未崩坏的地方

歌手追逐销售量

记者追逐点击量

没有谁比谁更善良

无论天后或天王无论小兵或老将

曲终人散都要苍凉

期待着彩虹

所以开了窗窗

外只有灼热闪光

所谓的彩虹

不过就是光

只要心还透明就能折射希望



其实我们都一模一样

无名却充满了莫名渴望

一生等一次发光

宁愿重伤也不愿悲伤

让伤痕变成了我的徽章

刺在我心脏

永远不忘

默默的让着旋律和我心交响

至少在我的心中自己为自己鼓掌

每个孤独天亮

我都一个人唱

默默的让着旋律和我心交响

就算会有一天没人与我合

唱至少在我的心中还有个尚未崩坏的地方

孩子一样

不肯腐烂的土壤

说好的幸福呢

她轻轻地松开了他的手“我们就这样吧。”
“为什么？我们不是说好了吗？不是要努力争取吗？”他试图想要抱紧她。她推开他，冷冷地说：“我累了。”
“那么我们说好的幸福呢？我们的未来呢？”
“没有未来了......我们从来都不属于对方。”
“这么多年的感情，就这样放弃吗？”
“对不起，”她缓缓地流下泪，“我最终的选择，不是你。”
“.......”
“求求你，”她跪在地上，“放过我好吗？”

他转过身，说：“答应我，没有我的日子，一定要比以前幸福。”
可是这时的他并没有看见，她留着泪，摇了摇头，对自己说：“没有了你，我永远都不会幸福的....”

******************************

《说好的幸福呢》

你的绘画凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起 喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了
时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐 你用卡片 手写着
有些爱只给到这 真的痛了
怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢
怎么了 你累了
说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

《女儿红》

我的新的作品。

《女儿红》

巷子里的红灯笼
染红了整片天空
炮竹声此起彼落
花轿外也响着大锣
你羞涩地一脸嫣红
我紧紧地把你手握

大堂里的烛火
照亮了你的红袄
祝福声稀稀落落
大门外却大雪滂沱
你慢慢地掀起红绸
我缓缓地喝下女儿红

琥珀色的女儿红
在风中飘散着温柔
解除我心中的寒冬
情感随着光阴飞逝更为浓

你唇上的胭脂红
扬着你的如沐春风
填满我心中的隙缝
就像撒在我嘴角的女儿红

Updates on my freaking job

it has been a while since i last posted an entry.
apparently, it did cos some concern in my group of frens.
met up w some of them, felt better since.
i hav already tendered. but seems like i maynot b able to get out of here either. my VP refused to let me go. when he heard dat i would rather leave wout a job, he was (his words) astonished. he then gave me 3 choices. 1 - report directly to him, 2 - transfer dept, 3 -take up a new project, until i find a job, then i can leave.
ok. its really v kind of him to offer me those solutions, cos it will make life super difficult for him n my SM. they need to tok to HR, other staff, the CEO to get this going.
thanks.
so, out of courtesy, i promised to give him a week's time to settle all these stuff. meanwhile, i've went thru an interview cum evaluation session yesterday for my transfer of dept.
dats it.
no more face to face tok liao.
i am sick n tired of all these.
u shd c the face of the cheena chicken yesterday.
she pulled my out from my cubicle, when outside, then asked me "so u nt interested to work in our team anymore?"
i wanted to f her off n tell her "not with u around".
but well, being "professional" (fuck la), i told her w the flatest face i can give "NO".
guess wat she did.
SHE SMILED LIKE A KID GETTING A NEW TOY. then she told me "ok, good, i will get a replacement" (trust me, i heard music in her voice). immediately after that, she stormed into the vp's room to tell him abt it.
i heard from my colleague dat she backstabbed me (again) last evening.
i mean, WHAT THE FUCK????
i told her i wan out already, wats her motive now?
i guess even when i am outta here, she will still continue her nonsense.
wat have i done man.
i seek redress.
where's the "karma" we've always toked abt, waited for?
not happenening.
how come?
it has been causing so much grieve (yes, i use this word) dat i am falling ill again.
where's the justice?

anyway, i wan to thank some of my pals for showing their concern for me during these days.
MQ, YX, WK. thanks for the "complaining session" we had. too tired dat day. will hav a proper party dinner when everything blows over.

WL, thank you for all the encouragement. makes me feel warm from my heart.

momo, thanks for listening (msn) and scolding the cheena chicken w me.

n of cos, my baby, whom has been w me thru all these ups n downs wout any complaints. thank you baby. i will make it up to u. i promise.

I WILL BE STRONG AGAIN!!!!

Decision

Finally, after going to the temple yesterday, i noe wat i shd do.
went to A mei's concert on sat, n suddenly, in the middle of a song, the stupid cheena woman's face flashed across my mind.
followed by an insomnia nite, keep dreaming abt the cheena woman n hw she will backstab me again.
ENUFF.
i think it is eating into me so much, dat i did not even realise it.
damn it.
i've decided to leave. there is nothing to fight for anyway.
wat integrity, dignity? it has been gone since the day she humiliated me.
y shd i take all these crap from her?
wat hav i done to deserve this kind of treatment?
i am nt going to sign my performance review, since its unfair.
n at such, i may nt be getting my bonus afterall.
dignity? i simply dun c a point now.
i rather leave now, take a temp job, earn lesser, find another job, than to stay on for the so called bonus or integrity, jepodising(spelling???) my health n emotion.
nt worth.
friends, i am at one of the lowest point of my life now.
pls bear with me if i did not pick up ur calls or respond to ur sms.
i need time to think thru.
pls give me ur support.

No use

after toking to my VP yesterday, i realised that nothing is going to happen.
yes, he did say he wanted to help me stay in the company, but to me, he dun really understand our plight and agony working under the cheena woman.
simply traumatising.
hw can i work under a boss who dun trust my work, n can even insult u on the face?
oso, she said" i really duno hw to work w u anymore"
well, me netiher.
i really hav no idea, as to how to face her fpr the nxt 2 mths.
simply agonising.
anyway, c how things go ba.
probably wun go crazy so soon.

muz go n tok to guanyin mah liao.

我是不是你最疼爱的人

昨天才知道，这首歌，是唱给一个死去的人听的歌。
好难过。

《我是不是你最疼爱的人 - 潘越云》

从来就没冷过
因为有你在我身后
你总是轻声地说 黑夜有我
你总是默默承受
这样的我不敢怨尤
现在为了什么 不再看我
我是不是你最疼爱的人
你为什么不说话
握住是你冰冷的手
动也不动让我好难过
我是不是你最疼爱的人
你为什么不说话
当我需要你的时候
你却沉默不说
从来就没冷过
因为有你挡住寒冻
你总是在我身后
带着笑容你总细心温柔
呵护守候这样的我
现在为了什么 不再看我
我是不是你最疼爱的人
你为什么不说话
握住是你冰冷的手
动也不动让我好难过
我是不是你最疼爱的人
你为什么不说话
当我需要你的时候
你却沉默不说
你最心疼我把眼哭红
记得你曾说过不让我委屈泪流
我是不是你最疼爱的人
你为什么不说话
当我需要你的时候
你却沉默不说

No Good

life has been pretty bad for me rite now.
i am v busy w my moving hse thingy. i will move this weekend.
at the same time, i realised that my boss has been planning to get rid of me.
she went around spreading rumours about me, asking ppl to support her, telling ppl bad things abt me (which is nt true of cos).
am i such a failure?
i hv no idea.
at least, for the past 10 yrs of working, i hv always been quite outstanding (if not, good enuff).
wats wrong w me then?
or was it her?

anyway, if my HR believed her crap n terminate me, i hav nothing to say.
most prob this company sucked w HR like this too.
we shall c.
my boss juz finished her conversation w my VP abt me.
we c how.
i am so tired abt all these crap.
i dun wan to think abt it rite now.
wat will happen, will happen.
i guess, i wun c any justice either.
pretty upset abt the whole thing.

i am dying to leave this place.
any lobang?
i will forgo my bonus if any chance come.
i dun care liao.
i am dying here.

生命的变数

最近心情很烦躁。
太多事情发生，搞得心神不宁。
生命充满了太多变数，让我不胜负荷。
我累了。
再多的情绪也只能在我的小小世界里抒发。
只有在这里，我才能用文字尽情飞舞。
我知道，这个月将会很忐忑。我有准备。

所以，我准备好了，要打一场硬战。

替我祈祷吧！

一路好走

我要离去

别再哭泣不要伤心

请你相信我

要等待我的爱

陪你永不离开

因为会有那么一天

我们牵着手在草原

听鸟儿歌唱的声音

听我说声我爱你。。。

my fren's bro in-law passed away on monday.

leaving behind his wife and a six yr old son.

he juz collapsed in the hse suddenly, n was gone juz like that.

brain stem rupture.

no signs, no ways to prevent it.

they hav been together for 15 yrs, married for 7 yrs. thru all ups n downs, they've grew stronger for each other, n the bond between them r strong.

he had given her 15 yrs of happiness.

n he will b in her heart forever.

the little boy had to hide his tears from his mum, cos he knew that his mum will b more upset than him. he wanted to b brave for her.

i began to realise that life cannot b predicted at all.

wats the use of planning for the future when u dun even noe wats in for u?

of cos, this oso makes life interesting.

life is always unfair.

this i always noe.

but to accept this......

well, it was pretty emotional for me, since i knew all of them.

To my dear fren: 你要加油，好好照顾姐姐和外甥。

To Keane: u r a strong sensible boy. take good care of ur mummy for ur daddy, grow up healthly and become someone whom ur daddy n mummy will b proud of. i am sure u will.

To Eric: u will always b in the hearts of those whom love u, esp M n Keane.一路好走。

To all: please tell ur loved ones that u love them, cos u duno when they will leave u. love u guys.

Random Updates

ok. i havent been updating on my "happenings".
here goes.

Cleaning up my room

yes, its time.
i am going to move out my current hse by this mth.
its time to clear my stuff.
as all of u noe, i will b moving into a smaller unit, so i need to throw away alot of things.
these r some of my collection.

my spiderman collection i got from HK's temple street. cute hor. it was the last set the hawker had. n he was closing his stall dat time, so i gt this set at a relatively cheap price (HK$100 i tink). well, they r in the dumpster now. i threw them away.

my fav ultraman collection. sigh. in dumpster too. sad.

my beloved 小陆宝. cute hor. i will nv throw them away. will b bringing them w me to the new hse. haha.

retro hor? whom had this when they were kids?

few yrs ago (b4 the "anything" and "watever"), i bought these in east coast. buay song.

one of my admirer (i forgot who) gave this to me duno when. hahaha.

got this bottle straight from the GM of coke. we gt the best project for marketing, did a presentation in front of him. those r the "signature" of my team members (including my ex...hahaha) with a neoprint on it. ya, u got it. my team's name is "dipsy n the teletubbies". dun ask me y.

my medals i got during sports meet n swimming carnival. the other one was the ECA distinction award i got on speech day for NPCC.

who can forget the legendary 双天至尊? when yan fei n luo qi fang was fighting for their love, we were fighting for this dice. now, in the dumpster as well. the luminous paint faded off.

as i was clearing up the stuff, i stepped rite INTO a collar pin. the whole pin went right INTO my sole. i pulled it out (v pain), n blood gushes out like mad. the blood formed a small puddle on the floor. nobody was at hm. i need to crawl to the toilet n wash my wound.

sigh.

Muthu Curry vs Banana Leaf

baby n i went for curry fishhead a few weeks ago. we had muthu's b4, so we've decided to try the banana leaf one this time.

we ordered one fishhead, masala chix n rice w veg.

i can oni say i preferred muthu's fishhead. although the fish here is more meaty, i felt that muthu's fishhead was more spicy (hot, i like) and tasty. baby likes this though. she finds muthu's fish toooo spicy. hahaha.
oh, do rem to dip ur papadom into the curry gravy nxt time. yummy combination.

we went bakerzin for dessert after that cos baby was nt in a good mood then.
wanted to cheer her up abit.

we ordered the 5 tapas combination. this is the banana pizza. yummy.

yes yes. look at her. she's so excited over this. mango sorbet, raseberry pina cotta, one yoghurt (i forgot wat. supposed to b v special flavor. haha. obviously, its nt dat special, until i can forget), n the choc ice cream w liquor blueberries.

nt bad. dessert is sure their specialty. but well, the oni thing i rem was baby gawking at another bang (ok, v handsome. he win). hmph.

Dad & Mum's Birthday

it was a yearly thing that i will buy this v v v nice mango cake from serangoon (1st time i got it from tiong baru). my parents love this cake.

dad n mum. yes, i purposely put a half naked pix of my dad w his sexy chest hair. too bad he dun hav 6 pac. hee.

the story behind this pix i damn funny. i was taking this pix while everyone was standing there wout a sound. then i say "eh, y no one sing song one?". this forces my siblings to sing "the world's most reluctant bday song of the century" look at their reluctant face. my dad can even thank them after the song. funny. he muz b in good mood.

my sis looked like the mama san from the olden times, forcing this helpless auntie to sell her son into prostitution. look at the bitchy look on my sis's face. classic.

it was oso a yearly thing to bring both of them to this restaurant at suntec for dinner.

my dad was boasting abt his charm. he cant stop toking to the waitresses who served our table. buay tahan. he tot he andy lau (老). my mum cant b bothered. hahaha.

this is the appetiser. one serving per pax. roasted meat w honey mustard sauce (yum!), veg dumpling (ok lor) n wasabi prawn (damn spicy)

this was the highlight of the day (n the reason y this cost SO MUCH). fyi, this is one serving per pax.


my sis was pretty happy abt it. look at my bro's "wtf" face.

the bowl was full of shark's fin (to hell w WWF), n the broth was damn yummy.

this is the scallops w 红糟 n asparagus. nice.

steamed cod fish w bean sauce. v v v yummy. but i still think that the fish is nt fresh enuff. hmmm.

spinach w muchrooms.

mum was v happy w all the dishes.

yi mian w lobster. by this time, we were all v v full. hav to struggle to eat the rest of the food.

sis: wah lau eh, si beh bah

bro: hmm, can i ask that pretty lady over there to join in for dinner?

sis: wah lau eh, i throw the noodle on ur face then u noe

bro: eh cannot, ltr the lady cannot c me

sis: i nv throw she oso wun c u

dessert. duno wat jelly wat. nt nice.

if u realised, this pix is somewhat similar to last yr's pix.
haha.
however, so much things happened during this one yr.
and i am grateful that i am still here.
no matter wat happen (stupid freaking cheena chix), i noe, my family will still b here.
n my baby.
:)

Upset

i am nt in my best of mood rite now.
it might be due to the clash i had w the cheena chix on tues.
till now, i still feel v upset abt it.
v affected.

i am nt a saint, dun ask me to cool down n relax.
i cant.
not so fast i guess.
y do i hav to go thru this again?
within a yr, i had been under monsters in work.
all pulled me down n humiliated me like hell.
i suay?
or is it that what they say about me is true?

am i the problem?

maybe.

y do i hav to take all these nonsense from others?
all the personal attacks, the anger, the tantrums......
all these nonsense.......

where are all the understanding n patience i need?
zero.
i get none.

Golden shit

this is the mighty golden shit from japan.

heard dat it will bring luck n fortune.

anybody going to japan? buy one for me?

hahaha.

if u enlarge the pix, u can c baby's reflection on it.

ya, the shit created a big hoo-ha in the office, so baby went kaypo.

ok, i asked her over la.

hahaha.

nice shit.

Last Friends???

"This thing is a monster, is a man in a woman's body, that cast its perverted looks onto other women. " ~ "Last Friends" - Sousuke on Ruka

nobody will understand, the pain, loneliness and agony we faced,
when we are trapped in a body we hated.
NOBODY WILL.

只能痛苦得跟着世人的标准活着。

四百龙银

她看到了模糊的身影在她面前，好像是在和她招手。
她走上前，仔细地看，那个人的脸依旧很模糊。

“小昭，快到妈妈这儿来！”

妈妈？
妈妈怎么会来？好久好久没见到妈妈了。小昭兴奋地奔向那个人影。
“妈妈！妈妈！”小昭一边跑，一边流着泪，叫着。

突然间，人影消失了。
只剩下黑漆漆的，没有空气的空间。
小昭愣住了。
人呢？妈妈呢？

妈妈又不要我了吗？
为什么妈妈不要我？

小昭流着泪大喊：“妈妈！你在哪里?我好想你啊！”

*************************

小昭从恶梦中惊醒。
她感觉到浑身无力。想动，却感觉下体的阵阵剧痛。
对了，她刚刚临盆。“这次应该是个男的吧！”她对自己说。
这是小昭第五个宝宝。之前的四个都是千金。如果这次还是女的，她自己也不知该如何向婆婆交待。
小昭六岁被卖到这里当童养媳，婆婆一直待她不错。直到近几年，当小昭一直生女儿时，婆婆开始给他白眼，不断地冷言冷语。所以这次，非男婴不生。
她转过身躯，看见婆婆坐在一旁，没吭声。小昭有种不想的预感。
“婆婆，”她用微弱的声音问道：“又是赔钱货吗？”
婆婆叹了口气，点点头。
小昭想：完了！我到底还要受多少白眼？难道老天就不能给我条活路走吗？
“那，宝宝呢？”小昭虚弱地问。
“卖了。”婆婆淡淡地说。
“什么？？？”小昭不敢相信自己的耳朵。
“卖了。那个人刚走。”
小昭这时用尽全身所有力气，往屋外奔去。她用力地跑，尽管他还在流血，尽管她还感觉到疼痛。她只想着：只要能阻止，什么都不重要。
她努力地追赶，终于看到了一个抱着娃娃的男人。
“别走！”小昭喊着。可是，那男人似乎没有想停下来的迹象，继续地快步走着。
小昭不停地跑，不停地喊着。但是因为体力透支，突然感觉到晕眩，倒下了。
小昭看着那男人的背影，不断地哭泣：“为什么？为什么？”

突然间，她明白了二十年前妈妈的心情。

“为什么上苍要这样子对我？”


*************************

《四百龙银》
这里的人家远渡重洋
找到他们家
看了几回就要这个
六岁的女娃
为了大哥要娶媳妇
没钱的妈妈收了四百个龙银
让她离开家
她在厦门过了一夜
隔天才上船
身上穿着只有过年才能穿的衣裳
妈妈为她缝了一个像她的娃娃
「有它和你作伴什么都别怕」
那天晚上的月亮被云挡住了一半
看不见的另一半
在要去的地方
也许只能这么想
才会觉得分开的只是月亮
心还一样
二十六岁那年生了第五个女孩
守寡的婆婆跟她说了香火不能断
刚好有人想要一个初生的女娃
她用虚弱的身子追出几里外
那天晚上的月亮被云挡住了一半
看不见的另一半
在心碎的路上
千头万绪在心里转
突然发现残缺的不是月亮
是命运啊
曲折要重覆到什么时候才给圆满
她从箱底找出那个像她的娃娃
「有它和你作伴什么都别怕」
可是我的心肝谁跟你作伴

针灸初体验

si beh suay.
昨天献出了我的第一次。
第一次针灸。
好奇妙的一次经验。
原来人体功学识这么的奇妙，一个小穴道可以牵动着身体的每一部分。
中医学真妙！
OK,我的手拉到了筋，痛死我了。
所以听了baby的话，去针灸了。
说真的，起初还有点担心，不知道会怎么样。
幸好有baby在。
谢谢你陪我等了两个小时。
好像去研究一下中医学。

feel v weird recently.
一直梦见怪怪的人。
感觉很怪。
i think i need to sort out my tots again.

The Beautiful Game??? Gah PUI!!!!

was v sporty nowadays.
no, nt physically.
wat else. the olympics of cos.
EPL started this weekend too.

watched the ping pong (ok, table tennis) finals yesterday.
i can oni say, i am v proud of our paddlers. they were amazing.
how to win china??? impossible la.
somemore mr hu was there to support his team.
u mad ah? how to lose? ltr kena executed then u noe.
anyway, we were glad that we got a silver.
there's one part whereby the chinese officials actually announced over the PA sys.
"让我们替我们来自海外的客人，新加坡，加油！好吗？"
n the home crowd shouted "新加坡加油！" continuously.
steady.
chinese. wan to b good host. wan face.
n our players, despite losing the game, still full of smiles. they've tried their best.
but well, it showed graciousness, which i dun c in other stupid ang mo countries.
then i was like "wow, i v touched"
then my bro asked, non-chalantly, "eh, hw much govt pay for medal?"

me: huh? pay wat?
bro: hw much they gt pay for the medals?
me: tsk, olympics is abt friendship n the sportsmanship, nt money....
bro: how much (stares at me)
me: 720k for silver.
bro: WAH! no wonder smile la.
me: .........

na beh.
pui.

EPL sucked.
i noe Man Utd sure wun win.
tmd. somemore at home ground.
super shitty.
performance sucked.
half of the team r reserves.
3 of the names i duno one.
no striker.
rooney juz recovered. played like shit.
giggs n ferdn exchanged "angry words"(huh?? wtf man???)
the goal by newcastle was the result of poor defence.
Man Utd shd hav a penalty.
etc etc etc.
a draw game is good already.
but w chelsea trashing their opponents at 4-0, i think, devils will die this season.

nah beh.
pui.

I need to break free

when i woke up today, i felt weird.
suddenly, i felt that enuff is enuff.
i need to move on.
this job certainly dun feed me enuff for my appetite (spelling?) any more.
i need more challenges.
i wan more.
i need directions.

suddenly feel like taking up another course.
smth i've always wanted to do.
language? sports? or psycology?
i duno man.
i missed those days in school, whereby i can look forward to learn smth, study, tok cock w frens.
or is it that i am too bored?
hahaha.

one thing is for sure.
i am sick of my job already.
anybody any lobang?

Random rantings

freaking xian this week.
no mood to work wat-so-ever.
suddenly, crave for jap food and my spicy hotpot.

met MQ and YX few weeks ago for some catch up session.
yes yes, i noe, i owe u gals an answer for ktv.
sigh.
pok gai le la. wait for my pay to come out 1st can ma?
damn restless recently.
i guess i need some good fun.

did some reflection in HK. n rite now, i am dying to get out of here.
ya, i noe, bonus coming.
dilemma now.
shd i look for job now, or shd i wait?
YX n MQ noes the best. cos we've discuss this b4.
to me, when the chance come, grab.
although i LOVE money (who doesnt), i feel that i will forgo the bonus if i can find the rite job.
however, i am juz looking around, c wat i can gt from the mkt now.
no hurry, although my stupid boss's limited IQ is driving me nuts again.
still can tahan i suppose.
u will c me kao beh-ing if i cant take it anymore.

btw, WK, if u r reading this, pls kindly tell us when r u free to meet up ok? enuff of the nite shift liao la. sack ur boss.
as for the ktv, sorry pals, need to wait. need to save up some cash rite now.

家后

this song really touches my heart.
1st time hear, tears flow liao.
hokkien song, by jiang hui.
家后 = wife
hav been hearing this song for the past week.
v nice.

<<家后>>
有一日咱若老找无人甲咱友孝
我会陪你坐惦椅寮听你讲少年的时阵你有外摮
吃好吃丑无计较怨天怨地嘛袂晓
你的手我会甲你牵条条因为我是你的家后
阮将青春嫁置恁兜阮对少年跟你跟甲老
人情世事已经看透透有啥人比你卡重要
阮的一生献乎恁兜才知幸福是吵吵闹闹
等待返去的时阵若到我会让你先走
因为我会呒甘放你为我目屎流
有一日咱若老有媳妇子儿友孝你若无聊
拿咱的相片看卡早结婚的时阵你外缘投
穿好穿丑无计较怪东怪西嘛袂晓
你的心我会永远记条条因为我是你的家后
阮将青春嫁置恁兜阮对少年就跟你跟甲老
人情世事嘛已经看透透有啥人比你卡重要
阮的一生献乎恁兜才知幸福是吵吵闹闹
等待返去的时阵若到你着让我先走
因为我会呒甘看你为我目屎流

Cable Ski

went cable skiing w my company ppl yesterday.
long time no ski.
v fun!!! i really enjoyed it.
it has been awhile since i really go out n hav fun like this.
feels good!
suddenly, all the stress disappears as i speed across the lagoon. w the sunset behind me, it was so relaxing. (although the water is super concentrated w NaCl)
i wan to do it again!
suddenly, i rem those good old days of aventure. rock climbing, rafting, hiking, abseiling.....
did i mentioned that i performed flying-fox when i was in sec 3 for my sch's speech day opening?
my fren juz told me how exciting it was (their recent trip to msia) to abseil from the cliff to the waterfall.
WOOHOO!
sigh. when can i do it man?

maybe not.
old bones, may crack under pressure.
hahahaha.

浮木- 续

前几天写了一个post，今天继续。

《浮木》

我要怎样才能清楚
没有你的日子孤不孤独
你永远不能弥补
这世间所带来的残酷
你要怎样才能清楚
我只是在漂流着的浮木
我也只能够麻木
这一切所给我的独处

漂流的浮木
在海中翩翩起舞
但看到海与地平线的相处
又不禁吃醋
海在天空间的弧度
被浪打得不清楚
它们却能坚守不变故

我要怎样才能清楚
没有你的日子孤不孤独
你永远不能弥补
这世间所带来的残酷
你要怎样才能清楚
我只是在漂流着的浮木
我也只能够麻木
这一切所给我的孤独

当我决定退出
不在渴望遥远的国度
浮木腐烂的程度 快速
变成大海的一部

The Joker

Warning: spoilers ahead.
Double warning: not suitable for aged under 21 or over 70.
Triple warning: Vulgarities included.


went to watch the dark knight yesterday.
3 words i utter after the show.
what the fuck.
ya, dats the response i gave.
maybe due to the hype abt the show, i was disappointed. too high hopes.
sigh.
let me tell u why i find this show nt up to my standard.

1) the batman is a wimp (aka no balls)

yes yes, i noe. batman gt a humane touch in this show. they r trying to tell us dat super heros (he claim not. bullshit) also have feelings, also face dilemma, etc etc.
trust me, i hav been around long enuff to figure out wat msg the show is trying to get across.
but well, for a start, batman IS batman (cant he choose a better creature/animal?) bcos he is filthy rich. damn rich. rich until can invest in high tech stuff to b hero (if limpeh so rich, i will spend my money to hire some crooks n launder money for me liao. fight crime for wat. jia ba bo sai bang).
he's nt firm, nt strong, gt weird voice when he's superhero (gt sore throat or the head gear too tight?), oni abt yan dao, and cant even keep the woman he loves.
super wimpy.
actually, he's juz a rich spoilt brat wanting to relish his super hero fantasy.
dats all.
not my fav hero.

2) the Joker not aggressive enuff

i was expecting MORE violence and madness from the joker. yes, ledger has done a great great job, w the voice n the expressions. v good performance. but yet, it can b done better if the sound effects can b stronger, the story more sadist (nt dark enuff). i was laughing when he pull out all his tricks against batman. made batman looked like a moron. well done. but nt good enuff. i still prefer the one done by jack nickelson (spelling?).
gimme more blood n violence.
n madness.

3) the female lead is damn freaking FUGLY

0.5/10.
i gave her 0.5 points simply bcos she a woman.
i noe, v mean for me to say dat.
but hello, this is hollywood rite? where r all the HOT BABES????
i juz cant convince myself dat batman and the DCA fall for this fugly woman, love her like nobody's biz.
hey, this is entertainment rite? please give me a face dat can make me feel happy la.
for ur information, i pay to watch the show. gives me the right to comment.

*fugly = fucking ugly

ok.
enuff criticisms.
there r parts of the show i liked though.

the cruise ship part.
when the burly criminal threw the control into the sea.
POWER.
to hell w civilisation.
stop stereotyping.
we live in a cold n unfair world.
pls give chance for others to lead a normal life.
everyone deserves it like u do.

oh, nt forgetting the part when joker (w the nurse uniform) strolled out of the hospital n blew it into pieces.
destruction.
i like.
hahahaha.

they shd make a show, titled "JOKER".
i sure watch.
satisfy my craving for violence.
hahahaha.
yes, i am a sadist.

Baby's present

some of u guys asked me wat i gave baby for her bday.

ok.

here goes.

i've made a 2 storey transparent house for her.

i used the plastic card holder to b the base n walls of the hse.

this is the top view of the hse.

the kitchen n living room is on the 1st floor, the staitcase will lead to the garden on the 2nd floor, followed by the bed room and toilet.

this is the bade room view. w a big bed n piano. if u can c, the kitchen n dining room in downstairs.

the toilet. look at the toilet bowl. its nt shit in the bowl. i delibrately thrwe a toy in the toilet bowl :P

this is my fav corner of the hse. the open air garden. w a BBQ pit on the table, flowers in the garden.

eh eh. its nt easy hor. i need to fix all the small parts together to make the furnitures. n the plastic, i need to cut, wire them together to create the 2 floor hse.

took me like 5 mths to plan, 2 mths to do it.

u think easy ah.

浮木

浮木漂流在汪洋大海。
因为身体被海水侵蚀，组织渐渐地腐烂。
尽管如此，它知道在有限的生命里，能够这样自由自在，就够了。
于是，它继续地漂流着。就算它的同伴统统都靠了岸，就算它离岸边很近。

有一天，浮木决定去探险，然自己漂流到更远，更深的海洋去。
漂啊漂......
结果，它飘到了体艘被撞毁的船边。
船毁坏不堪。浮木不以为然，继续漂流。
就在这时候，浮木感觉到身体被重量压着。这是它才发现，有一个貌似天仙的女子往自己身上靠。
女子是船上的生还者。
女子抓着浮木不放，拼了命地在喘气。
过了许久，她开口说话了。
“还好有你在，不然的话，我早死了。”
浮木在那瞬间被女子感动了。
于是，它变了。
为了能把女子安全地送到岸边，浮木开始变强。
可能是因为这样的信念，浮木的身体组织停止腐化，并变得坚固。为的，只是要让女子有个更好的依靠，能更有安全感。
在浮木努力地漂向岸边的同时，女子不断地和浮木说话。说她成长的故事、说她的梦想、说她的心事。在这几天，浮木就是她唯一的依靠。而在这几天，她是浮木唯一的伴侣。
漂了几天，眼看就快到岸了。
女子对浮木说：“如果没有你，我想，我也活不下去了。”
浮木听了女子的话后，更努力地漂，希望能快点到岸边，那么，女子就会得救了。

浮木和女子漂流了三天，终于漂到了岸上。
浮木欣喜若狂，因为这几天的努力并没有白费。
这时，女子到了岸边，看了看还在水里的浮木，笑了笑，然后转身。
她，离开了它，回到了属于她的世界。
而它，也留在自己的世界。

这时的浮木开始流泪。
它终于明白，它从不属于陆地，而她，也从不属于海洋。
他们永远不会存在在彼此的空间。

浮木崩溃了。
身体组织开始快速腐烂。
原本不需要任何人的浮木突然间感觉到寂寞、孤独、无助......
就这样，浮木在岸边变成了大自然的一部分，化成了海洋。

原来，你从不属于我......
~~~~~~~~~~

望着你慢慢离开
宿命像潮水般淹没我
不能呼吸漂浮在黑色的海
怎么习惯失去你的未来
怎么留住渐渐消失的云彩
骗自己爱还存
在泪水却失踪不断
命中注定没有你的未来
莫失莫望渐渐消失的空白
什么都别说我不想懂
至少我还拥有美丽的梦
什么都别说我真的不想懂
终于明白该放手
终于明白该放手
望着你
慢慢离开
泪水不断

My Fav Celebrity Chef

i've been thinking of doing this long time ago.
ppl whom noes me well shd noe that i am crazy abt food.
hawker food, finger food, expensive food, buffet.....anything. i love food la.

i can stay infront of the tv n watch the food channels (cable) for the whole day.
no kidding.
dun believe, ask my baby. she buay tahan me liao.

among all the chefs who appeared on tv, there are a few who i ADORE.
yes.
idol man.


5th

The cynical old man

mr anthony bourdain.
i love him for his wicked sense of humor and the sacarsm he had.
he is frank n truthful (when the food suck, he will say so).
oh, he is damn brave too.
i am sure no one else dare to eat the RAW brain of a sea lion.
he did it in iceland.(i didnt c anything except a messy load of blood n skin of the sea lion. yucks.)
n said dat it tasted like urchin (my god).
kudos to bourdain.
one xiao ang mo.
however, i've nv seen him cook b4. so, dats the reason he's in the 5th place.


4th

The mother

her name is 蔡季芳. more known as 阿芳老师.
she is a frequent guest chef in taiwanese shows.
but she is different from other chefs.
she is an expert in taiwanese dishes.
家常菜.
n she gave the audience alot of cooking tips, like how to make the soup tastier wout adding msg, how to fry a fish wout the oil splattering, etc.
v motherly, v patient.
i will choose her dishes over the expensive stuff like shark's fin.
serious.
watching her cook makes u realise dat normal dishes can taste heavenly as well.
its not the price of the dishes.
its the heart. the love for cooking.


3rd

The romantic

David Rocco.
si beh yandao chef.
i made my 1st tiramisu with his recipe.
he steal the show (instead of the FOOD) in HIS own show.
hahahaha.
wtf am i toking abt.
ok, in his show, even the food looks "romantic".
he made cooking a love affair for the audience.
n he certainly made me fell in love w italian food.
amo l'alimento italiano!!!!


2nd

The humble fella

ok. enuff of all the "overseas goods". time for some local taste.
ok. he is nt quite local la. he's nt singaporean.
but well, who doesn't noe sam leong now?
after his show w quan yifeng, i am sure most of the aunties noe him.
i love his passion in his job.
he always emphasize on 厨德 (which means ethics of a chef).
no wastage of food, hygienic and safe working areas.
he is strict w his disciples, but as long as u r keen to learn, he will b willing to teach.
he do his job w great integrity, giving the best to his customers.
n as proud as he is, he respects other chefs, holding them in high regards, v humble, learn from others.
i juz finish watching one episode of "chef in black" featuring sam leong.
i was amazed by his creativity.
at the same time, i like the way he treats other chefs/cooks.
although they r nt as experience as him, he dun look down on them.
he kept addressing the other party as "chef", learn earnestly from the other party, treating the other party w respect.
this is the correct attitute to treat others.
sam leong.
well done.
no wonder he is the chief exec chef for tung lok.


1st

The funny kid




of cos its him la.
who else?
he is funny, he is clumsy, he is fat n chubby, he is crazy......
he is so so so so passionate about food.
i've nv seen anyone so in love w food b4.
he single handedly changed the diets of school children in UK, making tony blair fork out millions of dollars to improve the food in schools.
he went to italy ALONE,in his stupid truck, banging into ppl's hse, working on the streets, kena scolded by italians like mad.
he makes cooking so fun.
like playing.
he makes cook look so easy.
like playing.
from the naked chef (he was still single and SKINNY), till the latest episode of "jamie at home", i nv failed to pause wat i am doing n watch his show when i was ay home.
i had few of his cook books, n i plan to buy ALL of them by nxt yr.
he n food = kid n candy.
he had his heart n soul in food.
not mentioning how he tried to help others by setting up "fifteen".
3 (i think) restaurants. n the chefs/cooks/helpers in the restaurants were either school dropouts or criminals who are keen to change themselves, asking for a 2nd chance.
he was a dropout. cos he cant really read. he had dylexsia.
but he nv give up on himself.
n similarly, he dun wan others to give up either.
so he gave them a 2nd chance.
to work in his restaurant.
jamie oliver is my ultimate idol.
hahahaha.
jamie's the man!!!


ok.
after so much admiration, time for some boo boos.


the duno-wat-the-hell-u-r-doing-bimbo

wat can i say abt her.
basically, if u switch to the channel w her in it in my hse, u will sure gt a big loud "eeeeeeeeeee" from the ppl of my hse, followed by a "y in the world r u watching her???".
watching her is fun. in my hse.
cos all of us will nt stop kao beh-ing, w "她在煮什么大便?" or "她在做什么?" being heard consistently behind or beside me.
trust me.
its really dat bad.
dun believe? ask my baby.
hahahhaa.
i will end up laughing like hell though.
basically, she juz any-o-how cut the ingredients, n throw them to a heated surface, n dats it.
dats cooking (which is oso true la).
bleh.

Finally, the worst of the worst

The ultimate old fart


floyd.
forever floyd.
a cocky old man who cooks an ostrich egg IN FRONT OF A GROUP OF OSTRICH.
end up, the ostrich ate their OWN eggs.
si beh chek ark.
he cooks in the wild, throwing everything he has into the wok, n walah, dats it.
n scolding his assistant all the time.
super old fart.
bleh x 100.

there u go.
my post abt celebrity chefs.
hungry?
go cook urself maggie mee.
nt everyone is jamie oliver.