Traumatising week

Death.
this is the word dat sums up my week.
after having to deal w the sudden death of my Angel, the topic abt death kept popping out.
i was having my haircut on wednesday, n b4 i went into the saloon, i hav this feeling dat my hair dresser will ask me abt Angel's death.
bingo.
juz as he was trimming the edge of my sideburn, he asked me " hey, do u noe dat gal whom died recently in taiwan in a freak accident?"
i nodded my head.
he went on "aiyo, so ke xi, so young die liao"
"yah" i told him "she's my idol"
he stopped cutting my hair, stared at me, n say "huh? xu weilun is ur idol????"
i nodded again.
he went silent for a moment, the he told me "aiyo, dun cry la" (i did nt cry, the water from my hair rolled down my cheeks as he tok to me)
then i stared at him.
wth la.

watched AI last nite.
there was one uncle (64 yrs old) during the audition.
weird, isnt it? cos the "cut off" age for AI is 28 yrs old (i cannot join liao).
read on.
simon was asking him "pardon me for being rude, but hw old r u? y r u here?"
the old man told his story.
his wife (of 20 over yrs) was diagnosed w cancer few yrs ago. he tried his v best to make her happy for the few yrs.
then, she died 2 days b4 the audition.
he wanted to sing a song for his wife in front of the whole nation (n he tot dat AI was a good choice. it was anyway), to tell the wife dat he loved her so so much, she's part of his life.
he sang "u belonged to me".
although old, i muz say dat he really really sang so so well.
brought tears to my eyes.
paula was weeping away, n others were equally touched.
the old man was happy, said dat he has done something special for his wife, n he's a winner.
u bet he is.

this morning, i was listening to 933.
the segment is called "my OST" which simply means "original sound tracks". they played the soundtrack from the japanese movie "love letters".
i felt emotional again.
now now, if u hav already watched this movie (i read the novel), u will noe hw i felt.
"o-genki-deska" (spelling??) was the oni word dat echoed in my brain.
y take the ppl we loved away?


everytime after we lost someone we were close to, we tend to grieve, sink ourselves into the sea of sorrow, refused to believe, n of cos, try our v best to struggle juz to keep in touch w watever is left of dat person.
then we make promises, promise to treasure the ppl around us, promise to live a better life, promise this, promise dat.
then wat?
we forget.
forget the feelings we had for the dead person, forget abt wat we've done w the person, forget all the moments we had together.
forget the promises.
human nature, u say.
to me, plain selfishness
yes, life goes on. indeed.
it seems like we do nt hav much choice abt it.
dats life, isnt it.
dats life.
n i hate it.

this is a useless post, n i duno y in the world i post it.