Post-Mortem Report

Dear Sir/Mdm,

I regret to inform you that your precious son, THE BLUES, had passed away on the 6th May 2007, at Emirates stadium. As requested, we had performed a post-mortem test for your beloved son. The details of the post-mortem report are as follows.

The brain was found to have a presence of a poisonous substance called the “delusional-Illusionalist”. The poison infected all the main organs of the body, which in turn, tricked the other body parts to perform irrational and egoistic actions.

Further analysis suggested that the poison is actually caused by a fruit by the name of “sour grapes”. The poison of the fruit travels to the brain, which as a result, infect the brain with the poison.

The poison affect the “reward pathway” of the brain, causing THE BLUES to be unhappy, depressed, anxious and violent. Evidence can be found on 6th May 2007, whereby THE BLUES attacked THE GUNNERS for no apparent reasons.
The brain was clearly disorganized and disoriented when THE BLUES criticized on friend’s upbringing and educational background, not to mention that the brain also had the delusion of “the whole world is against me”. It was a clear fact that the brain is already in a terminal dysfunctional stage, where no more medication can cure.

We respect THE BLUES’s fighting spirit against the poison, but it was not enough for him to stay alive in this cruel world.

We classified this case as a case of “Bad Losers”, and it will be recorded in our books of “Guiness World Record” under the “Worst losers in EPL, and-still-dare-to-say-people-lousy-go-fuck-off-and-hug-terry” award.

Last but not least, we would like to show our deepest sympathy on your lost.

Yours truly,

Doctor Devils Dolittle