再见理想和我所有的一切

我一直很想，很想做自己喜欢的东西。
做音乐，写小说，写一些诗。
在十年前，我有这个机会。
机会去做我喜欢的事。可是，在同胞努力的当儿，我选择了放弃。
放弃了我的理想，向现实低头。
我放弃了我最爱的音乐。
到现在，这是我其中一个感到很后悔的决定。
虽然在几年前，我仍有机会去追回这个理想，可是，我没有。

过了这么多年，以为心情平复了，没想到，并没有。
依然后悔着，依然觉得很孤单。
没有理想的自己，只是个空壳。

也罢。
我以为，只要我努力的活着，一定会找到自己的价值。

可是，前天的一句话，把我重重地打下了地狱。
“我们已经懒得理你了。”
这么平静的一句话，却像一把刀，深深地，插进我的心理。
伤了我的心。
我不知所措。
原来，在你们的心里，我是这样不堪的一个人。
原来，一直以为能够让我做回自己的避风港，容不下我。
原来，在这里，也要戴上面具。
我，要到哪里去呢?
我好累。
好难过。

原来一直让我很骄傲的东西并不是我的。
不属于我。
它正在慢慢地，慢慢地消失 ......
不见......

突然见我发现，我什么都没有。
没有了。


独坐在路边街角
冷风吹醒
默默地伴着我的孤影
只想将吉他紧抱
诉出辛酸
就在这刻想起往事
心中一股冲劲勇闯
抛开那现实没有顾虑
仿佛身边拥有一切
看似与别人筑起隔膜
几许将烈酒斟满那空杯中
籍着那酒洗去悲伤
旧日的知心好友何日再会
但愿共聚互诉往事......

We are the Devils, We are the Champions, We are the BEST!

champion's league finals in moscow.
Man United vs Chelsea.
it has been a while since an all english finals took place.
it was a match that every epl fans were looking forward to.

i woke up at 2.45am to catch them in action.
v v v nerve wrecking 90 mins.
Man U is definitely the better team. good flow of the ball, classic and swift moves.
chelsea hav to b thankful that they hav a great great great goalkeeper.
or else, Man U will win it in the 1st half already.
after a nail bitting 28 mins, this happened.


ronaldo rose from nowhere (not marked!!!) n headed the ball into the net.
swift, accurate, precise.
i was like "yeah!!!!" with a muffle voice, using a pillow to cover my mouth. fyi, it was 3 plus in the morning. dun wan my parents to come n kill me.
happy happy.
felt v good abt the goal n the way things were going.
then, this happened.


scholesy fouled makalele(sigh, again), gt himself a deep cut on his head n broke his nose. bleed n bleed like hell.
my heart sank.
not a good sign.
bery scared.
at 45 mins (abit into added time ba), it happened. chelsea got lucky. lamps "scrap" in a goal.
stupid.
Man U's defensive error.
STUPID.
n the score continued to b 1-1 till the end.
my hands turned cold. i started to panic.
damn it.
how.
the match went into extra time.
still no goals.
this is the moment i opened my mouth so big, i tot my jaw is going to drop.
ORH BEE GOOD!!!!!
finally, justice is done.
screw u drogba.
this is wat happen when u keep diving, kao beh, then u hit ppl on the face (in front of the ref).
serve u right, moron.

then of cos, penalty(wout drogba!!!).
the cruel way to decide the winner.
ok, relax abit ok.
relax.
i was breathing heavily, palms sweating, waiting.
waiting.
1st goal, 2nd goal.....
chelsea followed.
then. it was ronaldo.
cech saved this penalty.
i was dumbfolded (spelling??? to traumatised).
deep inside me, i tot "dats it, chelsea is going to win. tmr's paper will b blue"
n chelsea proceeded with the 100% penalty record.
then, it was Jt's turn to seal the champoins for chelsea.
i swallowed hard.
bye bye Man U........
then.......

HE MISSED!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!!! he ended on the wrong foot. suddenly, my heart pounded more. got chance, got chance.

then, anelka stepped up after Man U scored. i had a feeling. maybe......

my heart was in my mouth, pounding hard, fast.......

then.............

van der sar SAVED HIS PENALTY!!!!!!!

Man U WON THE DOUBLE!!!!!
suddenly, i broke down.
cried like mad. after all these years (9 yrs) we had been chasing n chasing.

n now, we r the best in both england n europe.

we r the best in the world!!!!

ladies n gentlemen, the double champions.
MANCHESTER UNITED.

My Outing with My Baby

took leave today, spent my day w my baby.
went to a yaki rest in purvis street for dinner.
v ex, but we both tot its worth all the money.
food was delicious, atmosphere v laid back, v relaxing.

i wanted to tk the SLK behind me.

a model shot of my baby

posing w her lychee & peach cooler

we finished this jumbo plate of salmon skin salad in 10 mins. we were seriously hungry. oh, did i mentioned that it tasted heavenly? the combination of crispy veg n salmon skin, w the pomelo n sesame sauce.....woo hoo!!!

guess what this is.

ok, these r the grilled ginko nuts. looks weird, sounds weird, tasted weird too.

grilled brinjal (w radish topping) n my fav chix butt. v nicey....

yes yes, my chix butt. we ate 6 sticks of it (= 18 chix butt. we've killed 18 chix)

a half finished unagi (super yum! my baby loved it), pork w garlic and prawn w mint leaves n bacon. all my baby's fav.

guess wat is this?

answer: oyster tempura!!!! my fav!!!! juicy, fresh, crispy....w mint leaves. v refreshing. i ate 6 of them. muahahahaha!!!!

my baby posing w the garlic pork

me n baby
we took this pix after the v v v full meal. look at the number of sticks in the container. that was the number of sticks of yakitori we had. nt mentioning the load of unagi (2), oysters (8), chawamushi, sashimi, salad, etc we had. super full.

v happy n contented after the meal.

the food, the place.

n of cos, the fact that i was w my baby.

those whom r interested to hav ur dinner there, its a rest at purvis street. call me for more details.

Fer's Bady + Baby Shower

hey peeps, sorry for the lag.
here r all the pix from Fer's bday and the baby shower over the last few weekends.

Fer's bday

Fer bery thirsty.

Jacq is showing us how to break an egg w one hand. kns,i was the one whom taught u how to do it ok.......haolian xia......

Mr and Mrs Chan

My 2 xiao mei-s

the bday gal.

one octopus, one sword fish and one pig.

me n my baby. ok, i look steam. cos nt v happy w the food. bleh. plus a very bad hairday. sigh.

fer: where's my cake?

jacq: eeeyer, wat r they bringing out?

ya la ya la, ur cake la.

"yeah, i am a happy gal."

fer: i wan a mango smoothie.

apparently, the boss of the restaurant gave fer a free mango smoothie. yes, bday present. good hor. lao ban ham sap.

fer: *peep* did i gt my wish????

the recarnation of an octopus

fer n her bf

we forced them to kiss. i tell u, this pix was like the 3rd take after numerous tries. c la, so shy for wat? still muz do ma.hee hee.

bf: ok, u dun better eat it all

fer: nah, i dun care, i wan all.

bf: oei! save some for me leh!!!!

something happened which made jacq laughed like hell. wana noe wat?

our dear bday gal broke the knife while she was cutting her cake. we heard the LOUD "crack", n was like "oh shit". then we realised our octopus-muscle-woman broke it.

the broken knife stuck in the cake. in the end, the bday gt the broken pc of blade in her share of cake.

jacq: c la, juz nw teach u how to cut, nv listen la. muz listen to the master ok.

group photo

i like this pix better. the boss insisted that he shd take one w his restaurant name in it.haha. free advertisment.

Baby Shower

apparently, we wanted to celebrate S's and GZ's bady. but it ended up being a baby's party. babies were passed around like goods, with cries here n there, both for the babies and from the babies. oni one word to describe.

CHAOTIC.

hahaha.

but it was really fun though.

my star baby, declan

Declan's fav pose

" i am a musician. i wan to play the piano"

he was hitting the table, playing w himself. SO CUTE!!!! good boy.

erm, ok, he will get distracted by the food on the table occasionally. but.....

he will still b a great pianist in the future.

cute boy declan

i simply cant get enuff of him. so i've decided to abduct him from his parents

but he dun really seem to like my company. hahaha.

declan: i wan to get out!!!

my baby: guai guai, i will give u milk milk ltr.....

declan: where's my MILK????

after i gt rejected by delcan, i attempted to "bribe" him by singing his fav "mary had a little lamb". but he still showed my an in-different look, so i had no choice but to show him my monkey face. look at wat my baby is doing. kns.

4 mums trying v hard to show off their children.

delcan: tsk, where's my milk?

reynald: daddy, i am hungry

kerrin: wwat r those uncles n aunties doing?

jade: mummy, y am i the smallest here?

declan: i dun wan green tea

reynald: daddy, i am STILL hungry

kerrin: erm mum, can i dun stand?

jade: yeah! i am tall now.

declan: tsk, i told u i dun wan green tea liao.

reynald: daddy, i can do w the green tea.

kerrin: hey, jade mei mei, wan to b frens?

jade: not free.

our commercial baby, reynald. he was sucking his fingers n toes throughout the dinner. v cute. can make a v good spokesperson for milk formula.

this jie jie trying to kidnap other ppl's child again.

erm, ok. seemed like all babies were nt interested in me. upset.

i told u, he is hungry.

me n princess kerrin. cant really gt a clear shot of her face.

ta dah....uncle david did me a favour by holding her for me to get this cute shot. kawaii neh!

the v reluctant jade. sigh, told u i dun hav tian fen for kids.

our grp photo wout the kids. i was holding declan b4 i took this shot. all the mummies (n one gentlemen) said "oei! babies r not allowed in this pix hor!!!" sigh. made me part w my declan. opps, did i say "my"? hahahaha

ok, my family portrait. tsk. wat wat. cannot hav fantasy ah?

that sums up all the actvities i had recently. more to come.