说好的幸福呢

她轻轻地松开了他的手“我们就这样吧。”
“为什么？我们不是说好了吗？不是要努力争取吗？”他试图想要抱紧她。她推开他，冷冷地说：“我累了。”
“那么我们说好的幸福呢？我们的未来呢？”
“没有未来了......我们从来都不属于对方。”
“这么多年的感情，就这样放弃吗？”
“对不起，”她缓缓地流下泪，“我最终的选择，不是你。”
“.......”
“求求你，”她跪在地上，“放过我好吗？”

他转过身，说：“答应我，没有我的日子，一定要比以前幸福。”
可是这时的他并没有看见，她留着泪，摇了摇头，对自己说：“没有了你，我永远都不会幸福的....”

******************************

《说好的幸福呢》

你的绘画凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起 喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了
时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐 你用卡片 手写着
有些爱只给到这 真的痛了
怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢
怎么了 你累了
说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

《女儿红》

我的新的作品。

《女儿红》

巷子里的红灯笼
染红了整片天空
炮竹声此起彼落
花轿外也响着大锣
你羞涩地一脸嫣红
我紧紧地把你手握

大堂里的烛火
照亮了你的红袄
祝福声稀稀落落
大门外却大雪滂沱
你慢慢地掀起红绸
我缓缓地喝下女儿红

琥珀色的女儿红
在风中飘散着温柔
解除我心中的寒冬
情感随着光阴飞逝更为浓

你唇上的胭脂红
扬着你的如沐春风
填满我心中的隙缝
就像撒在我嘴角的女儿红

Updates on my freaking job

it has been a while since i last posted an entry.
apparently, it did cos some concern in my group of frens.
met up w some of them, felt better since.
i hav already tendered. but seems like i maynot b able to get out of here either. my VP refused to let me go. when he heard dat i would rather leave wout a job, he was (his words) astonished. he then gave me 3 choices. 1 - report directly to him, 2 - transfer dept, 3 -take up a new project, until i find a job, then i can leave.
ok. its really v kind of him to offer me those solutions, cos it will make life super difficult for him n my SM. they need to tok to HR, other staff, the CEO to get this going.
thanks.
so, out of courtesy, i promised to give him a week's time to settle all these stuff. meanwhile, i've went thru an interview cum evaluation session yesterday for my transfer of dept.
dats it.
no more face to face tok liao.
i am sick n tired of all these.
u shd c the face of the cheena chicken yesterday.
she pulled my out from my cubicle, when outside, then asked me "so u nt interested to work in our team anymore?"
i wanted to f her off n tell her "not with u around".
but well, being "professional" (fuck la), i told her w the flatest face i can give "NO".
guess wat she did.
SHE SMILED LIKE A KID GETTING A NEW TOY. then she told me "ok, good, i will get a replacement" (trust me, i heard music in her voice). immediately after that, she stormed into the vp's room to tell him abt it.
i heard from my colleague dat she backstabbed me (again) last evening.
i mean, WHAT THE FUCK????
i told her i wan out already, wats her motive now?
i guess even when i am outta here, she will still continue her nonsense.
wat have i done man.
i seek redress.
where's the "karma" we've always toked abt, waited for?
not happenening.
how come?
it has been causing so much grieve (yes, i use this word) dat i am falling ill again.
where's the justice?

anyway, i wan to thank some of my pals for showing their concern for me during these days.
MQ, YX, WK. thanks for the "complaining session" we had. too tired dat day. will hav a proper party dinner when everything blows over.

WL, thank you for all the encouragement. makes me feel warm from my heart.

momo, thanks for listening (msn) and scolding the cheena chicken w me.

n of cos, my baby, whom has been w me thru all these ups n downs wout any complaints. thank you baby. i will make it up to u. i promise.

I WILL BE STRONG AGAIN!!!!

Decision

Finally, after going to the temple yesterday, i noe wat i shd do.
went to A mei's concert on sat, n suddenly, in the middle of a song, the stupid cheena woman's face flashed across my mind.
followed by an insomnia nite, keep dreaming abt the cheena woman n hw she will backstab me again.
ENUFF.
i think it is eating into me so much, dat i did not even realise it.
damn it.
i've decided to leave. there is nothing to fight for anyway.
wat integrity, dignity? it has been gone since the day she humiliated me.
y shd i take all these crap from her?
wat hav i done to deserve this kind of treatment?
i am nt going to sign my performance review, since its unfair.
n at such, i may nt be getting my bonus afterall.
dignity? i simply dun c a point now.
i rather leave now, take a temp job, earn lesser, find another job, than to stay on for the so called bonus or integrity, jepodising(spelling???) my health n emotion.
nt worth.
friends, i am at one of the lowest point of my life now.
pls bear with me if i did not pick up ur calls or respond to ur sms.
i need time to think thru.
pls give me ur support.

No use

after toking to my VP yesterday, i realised that nothing is going to happen.
yes, he did say he wanted to help me stay in the company, but to me, he dun really understand our plight and agony working under the cheena woman.
simply traumatising.
hw can i work under a boss who dun trust my work, n can even insult u on the face?
oso, she said" i really duno hw to work w u anymore"
well, me netiher.
i really hav no idea, as to how to face her fpr the nxt 2 mths.
simply agonising.
anyway, c how things go ba.
probably wun go crazy so soon.

muz go n tok to guanyin mah liao.